Trust – leopards with spots, smoke with fire…

Recently, I talked about trust and how that had been completely obliterated in my previous relationship.

And of course, I’m now left wondering how I’ll ever trust anyone again.

I mean, when you’ve put everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) into making something work, only to be let down so incredibly badly, how do you begin to find a way through that???

I’m an ‘all or nothing kind of girl’, it’s how I live every part of my life. So, as I move forward, I find myself pretty scared thinking about meeting someone else and trusting again… I want to be with someone new and I want to have a 100% committed relationship. Like everyone else, I deserve a little bit of happy, I think?? But I now find myself questioning my own judgement – after all, I completely believed everything I was told previously. I believed all the things I was told about the future, the past and was sucked into the promises. I believed it because I wanted to believe it… So, why will the next time be any different?

And at the same time – why should I let one ‘smooth talking bullshitter’ spoil any future relationships? I guess the answer is that I won’t. But it’s going to take a VERY patient man to take me on and help me deal with the insecurities I have now about so many parts of who I am. But in return, I have so much to give and I’ll be the most truthful, faithful partner ever!!! So, let’s hope I find the one and don’t need to become a crazy cat lady, because I really hate cats!!

Much love,
Clair xx

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About goodbyerockyroad

Mummy, daughter, teacher, Hyperemesis survivor, CFS/Fibromyalgia sufferer, fighter, lover, blogger... Sometimes funny, mostly not.
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