Dear Daisy-Mae…

I’ve been meaning to write this one for a while, and saw a similar one posted on social media this morning which reminded me… so here goes…

To my dearest Daisy-Mae,

You’ve asked so many times when you will be a big sister, when we can have a baby for you to play with and to look after.

And here is the truth: Mummy considers herself to be incredibly blessed to have you in her life and loves you more than you will ever understand. But, the simple truth is that you won’t ever be a big sister.

You see, when I was growing you in my tummy, it made mummy feel so very poorly. We both made it to the end, you came along and were relatively unscathed considering the trauma we had. And the very moment you were born, I looked at you with such love, and I knew there and then, that my baby days, whilst just beginning, were also very much finished.

Seven years on, I see you with other children – the same age, older or younger, and I see what an amazing sister you would have been. You’re the life and soul – everyone wants to be your friend, because you are so very special. You’re caring, loving, funny, clever, dippy, sensitive. You grab every single opportunity that is presented to you with both hands and make every single waking second (and most of the asleep ones too!) count for something. That kind of energy, determination and character attracts so many different kinds of people – young and old. And so I watch you, nurturing your relationships with people and I wish above all, that I could grant you that wish.

But, my darling girl, if it’s down to Mummy, you won’t ever be a big sister for one very simple reason. The risk of giving you that longed for sibling is too much. How could I ever risk leaving you, without me when I’m all you have? I just couldn’t.

So, I promise you right now that I’ll do anything and everything possible to help you build friendships so that your friends feel like sisters, and brothers. You have a very special bond with your gorgeous cousin, Isabelle, and as time goes on, I hope that you two just grow closer, that you have each other to confide in. You’re already a force to be reckoned with together – goodness knows what that will be like in 10 years time!

You’ll never know how much it hurts knowing I can’t give you that one special thing, but I think you’ll always, always know just how much I love you and just how incredibly special you are to me…

I’ll love you forever little lady – to the moon and the stars, and back again…

Much love,
Mummy xxx


About goodbyerockyroad

Mummy, daughter, teacher, Hyperemesis survivor, CFS/Fibromyalgia sufferer, fighter, lover, blogger... Sometimes funny, mostly not.
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