Loneliness…

You know, when I tell people I’m lonely, they tell me that I shouldn’t be. That I’m lucky I have friends and family around me who care. And I am. I know that.

But being a family unit of 2 IS lonely. I’ve done it for a long time now – I should be used to it. And mostly I am. I’m an independent kind of girl – I’ve got a career I love,  a business which has changed my life, a hugely supportive family and of course, the gorgeous Doodles, who fills my heart with joy (and worries like I never knew before!!!! But that’s a different story!).

Until a year ago, I didn’t think I’d ever be lonely by myself. But sometimes you just are. It’s there every single day. It underlies everything I do. And it’s not a yearning for just anyone. I miss him. I miss the one who was the love of my life. I’ve accepted that it’ll never be again, but I’m not sure I’ll ever move on. It’s grief. A different kind of grief to losing someone you loved through death, but it doesn’t make it any less real.

Christmas is a lovely family time. Of course I’ll make the most of it – I’ll make it as magical as I can for Daisy because that’s my job. But deep down, the smile on my face hides how I really feel.

Cherish every moment with the ones you love. Be smug if you’re happy with the one you love. But remember that a smile can hide a thousand tears. Be kind this Christmas time, especially with those around you who have loved and lost – for whatever reason.

Much love,

Clair xx

 

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About goodbyerockyroad

Mummy, daughter, teacher, Hyperemesis survivor, CFS/Fibromyalgia sufferer, fighter, lover, blogger... Sometimes funny, mostly not.
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